and even though i've showered i can still smell you on my skin. broken blood vessels decorate my neck like daisy chains, i notice them when im staring at my skin so hard i can see every bone and line through it. you were a gambler, sober and foreign. clumsy knees between knees on a barstool, liquor and numbers falling out of our mouths. you kissed me under the spinning wheels of roulette tables, kissed me in somebody else's bed until me, i was spinning. you traced my ink and i traced yours, your mouth falling over and under words and my body. but it's all in pieces now and i like it this way. soft around the edges and blurred out, spreading through my memory like blood through burst capillaries.