hope against hope, and it all comes down to this. my aching bones just wanting to lay down beside a friendly body.
if you want me to tell you the truth i will tell no lies: i cheated you, right after you broke my heart. but i was unfaithful long before you ever thought i could be. and god, it would kill you to know the extent of my betrayal. i am so good at keeping secrets. the boy in the city, i wanted him to be a lover, not even a friend. but i kept my secrets and i keep being lonely. somehow somehow im being asked by others i could never would never and it almost makes me want to throw my hands up and just lay down for them. lay down and close my eyes and hope that they eventually just grind me to dust beneath their hips. i dont want to feel anything anymore. nothing. i want to be the mortar, you the pestle. just take me for everything i got, just rob me blind. i dont want to feel anything anymore.